Squashing the fear gremlins: How to recognize fight, flight, freeze, and fawn reactions (the 4Fs)

Learn to notice fear responses and shift from reaction to courageous response using the 3N Influencing Technique

Fear is an instinctive physiological reaction wired into all humans as a way to protect us from potential danger. When we perceive a threat, our nervous system triggers a survival response. The hormones that flood the body enable us to run faster, see more clearly, and sometimes to remain completely still and "play dead."

These instinctive reactions are known as fight, flight, freeze, and fawn: The 4Fs. While these reactions look dramatically different, which can make it hard to recognize them, underlying all of them is fear.

The 4Fs show up in all kinds of life situations, ranging from the immediate danger of a car that cuts us off in traffic to the more existential threat of global warming. Anything unknown or uncertain can cause fear.

The 4Fs of fear at work

Uncertainty is increasingly common in today's work world. Situations are volatile and changing rapidly. Change is constant and continual in most organizations. According to research, 70% of organizational change initiatives fail—often because leaders underestimate the emotional and psychological impact of change on employees.

The instinctive 4F response also applies to uncertainty at work. Examples of the 4Fs at work look like:

🗯 Fight: Saying hurtful things directly or indirectly to others, pushing back aggressively on new initiatives, or expressing cynicism

❌ Flight: Avoiding difficult people or situations, disengaging from meetings, or mentally checking out

❓Freeze: Doubting and questioning our skills and competence, procrastinating on decisions, or getting stuck in analysis-paralysis

😅 Fawn: Wearing a mask of people-pleasing, overcommitting to gain approval, or failing to set boundaries

Why fear at work is increasing

If you feel like there's more fear than ever in the world and at work, you're not mistaken.

Statistics indicate that fear is increasingly common. An estimated one in five adults will experience some form of anxiety disorder in a given year. Approximately 40 million adults in the United States are affected by anxiety, making it one of the most prevalent mental health conditions, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA). (Anxiety is a form of fear.)

In the workplace specifically, a 2023 American Psychological Association study found that 77% of employees reported experiencing work-related stress, with uncertainty about the future being a top contributor.

Yet, as fear rises, many of us attempt to control it rather than accept it.

When things feel out of control, it's natural to want to restore balance. This response occurs for various reasons:

➡️ It's uncomfortable to feel fear, so we avoid it.

➡️ It is sometimes tricky to spot, as it hides behind other, more "acceptable" emotions such as anger or contempt.

➡️ We don't know what to DO about it, and besides, we have so many other things to DO anyway.

This is especially true now, as there are many reasons to feel fear in the workplace—from AI disruption and layoffs to hybrid work tensions and economic uncertainty.

So, what can we do to help ourselves?

There's a simple technique to help you begin recognizing the presence of fear, reclaiming your power over it by naming it, and taking small steps to shift out of it. Here's how to transform an instinctive fear reaction into a thoughtful response in three easy steps:

Learning to recognize the 4Fs is the first step to emotional intelligence during change. It's a way of recognizing that emotions are a universal human experience, and showing compassion for oneself and others.

Neuroscience research shows that labeling emotions—a practice called "affect labeling"—reduces their intensity and activates the prefrontal cortex, helping us regain rational thinking.

Nudging is a gentle way of asking, "Is this the choice I want to make in this moment?"

I call this the 3N Influencing Technique. This technique helps shift an unconscious, instinctive fear reaction into a more considered response. Although it can be used with all kinds of "negative" emotions, it is particularly useful for choosing courage over fear—taking action despite fear's presence.

The framework is grounded in behavioral science: An unconscious reaction (current behavior)→ Pause to notice and name → An intentional response (desired behavior)

The better we become at noticing fear and learning to sit with it, the more capable we are of allowing it to run its course quickly. Research by neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor has shown that it takes just 90 seconds for an emotion like fear to subside. That is, if we don't resist it or feed it with additional thoughts by hitting the replay button.

Instead of ignoring fear at work and letting those fear gremlins multiply, this practice helps us confront it in the moment with kindness and self-compassion. It's a natural human reaction, after all.